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Bitter -from "Mind the Gap"


In 1994, I was asked to be in a movie. The director was not concerned that I was not...an actress. Although, I did play "Miss Hanukkah", to much acclaim, in my 6th-grade holiday play.

Here, I was asked to play the part of a struggling female singer-songwriter with a shitty New York City apartment. As insecure as I was about my more recent acting skills, I accepted the job as I felt I could easily method act this one.

The one rather odd twist to my character was that I had a pacemaker. And for some reason, I loved to play with danger, test my limits, and...sprint. Sprinting, I guess, was a no-no. Eventually, before a big gig, the one where I would be discovered, I had a heart attack! But get this - the handsome guy in my yoga class, the one I had a bad crush on, somehow coincidentally happened to be there, saw me collapse on the street, and revived me with some full on mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. And it worked!

He took me to my gig, which I just made just in the nick of time. I kicked ass in front of a thrilled packed house. Oh, and somehow, my makeup and hair survived the entire ordeal.

I made it!

Side notes:

I overheard one of the directors say they were still looking for a setting to shoot my apartment scenes. They needed a believable struggling artist pad. I offered mine! It was fantastic as I got $1500 for the three days, and I could just roll out of bed to get to work. My roommate at the time, Marykate, had a new record out she was trying to promote. She placed her CDs (product placement) all over the loft. In fact, there was a scene where I open up the refrigerator, and you can actually see a CD next to the condiments.

More info on 6th grade holiday play: The other star was Mary Sun who played Miss Christmas. The plot was that Mary and I run into each other at the department store. She asked me what I was shopping for, and I said we were getting Hanukkah decorations. She asked "What is Hanukkah?"

I then went into the story about the Maccabees, and how a one-day supply of oil miraculously lasted eight days. I had to really play the role of Miss Hanukkah with great panache, as her story of the birth of her lord and savior seemed to be little more exciting.

Bitter is on my Happytown record. Here is the official video:


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