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#Fuck7thGrade


Freud stressed that the first five years of life are crucial to the formation of adult personality. He had it wrong. It's 7th grade -the shittiest of all years.

I'm working on a one-woman-show about the worst year of my life. "#Fuck7thGrade" is the, for now, working title. I've got until June to come up with the structure and songs. That's not a lot of time, especially since I will inevitably procrastinate...a lot. I started to panic today, then realized that I already have so many songs already that I could include. My whole catalog has been influenced and damaged by 7th grade.

So here is a few back catalog songs, as well as a couple of unreleased or rarities.


1. UNDERDOG VICTORIOUS: He's the bullied little queer boy who will eventually grow up to be a Glam Rock Star!

UNDERDOG VICTORIOUS

Bobby Trucks was a fat little boy living in a shitty little town

And every recess the dodge ball flew it knocked poor Bobby down

Four o’clock when he got home upstairs in his room

He'd close the door tie on his cape

Put on his skin-tight suit

And he'd sing

Underdog victorious

He was simply glorious

Someday he'd die notorious

Underdog victorious

A couple years later tried out for the band.Did covers of Matchbox 20

But he was dreaming of the New York Doll and Max's Kansas City

Of course they never called him back, they thought he was too queer

But he didn't care, back in his room, he’d sang into the mirror

And he sang

Underdog victorious

He was simply glorious

Someday he'd die notorious

Underdog victorious

He could see into the future. That was one of his great gifts

And one day all those dodge ball bullies

Would dream of his sweet kiss

And they'd dream

Underdog victorious

He was simply glorious

Someday he'd die notorious

Underdog victorious

2. Margaret - from my 1995 record. Margaret was the girl who bullied me. She was the goody two-shoes who, yes, ended up in the adult film industry. I kind of make fun of her for it in the song. But now after knowing and having friends who have been in "the industry" (as well as all the Stormy Daniels to do ), I'm so not looking down at all on Margaret's career path. She still should have been nicer to me.

Margaret, back in Junior High Margaret, all yellow curled She was the most popular girl Margaret, she was beautiful Margaret developed first We all thought she had all the luck in the world

She never noticed me, what could I give her? I knew someday I would have to forgive her Ooh Margaret, dear Margaret

Such a lucky girl How could I ever forget Margaret

Meanwhile, ten years later Margaret moved to West Hollywood We all thought she could make it if anyone could Margaret, she missed the reunion Margaret, we never heard What became of St. Mary's glamorous girl

Until the day at the video center A man held a tape with a girl on the cover In bad lingerie on a Cadillac fender Ooh Margaret, dear Margaret

Such a lucky girl Our St. Mary's girl How could I ever forget Margaret

3. Strawberry Gloss: I didn't have a best girlfriend until the Spring of 7th grade. I always wanted one, but somehow no one wanted to be mine. My good friends were boys anyway - we had more similar interests. Then, I met Mary Gardner. Mary also liked Alice Cooper's "Welcome to my Nightmare". Anyway, she became my best friend! That was until she started paying attention to Billy Silverstein. Then she started dressing and acting different. It didn't help that she was also my first big crush. The song has a definite kind of 60s Bacharach vibe. And I get to namedrop things like "Jean Nate" and "Sun In." Billy Silverstein ended up married and divorced like nine times.

retainers and braces for our pretty faces and starter-bras, shirts made of gauze on a soft-focus field with the sunset behind strawberry gloss older girls with the Sun-In hair then my best friend became aware of the boys after school she began to wear strawberry gloss someday, some way love will be calling, and I will be falling some time, I'll find someone to love me, too hot wheels and comic books hidden away for Seventeen Magazine and Jean Nate’ so I kiss the mirror to see how I taste strawberry gloss someday I'll say that's what made me no regrets, maybe some time I'll find someone to love me, too it was a terrible time, and no one explained everyone suffers, so let me just say some had it worse and some feel a loss here I am waiting for you in strawberry gloss... someday, some way love will be calling and I will go falling some time, I'll find someone to love me too someday, I'll say that's what made me and no regrets, maybe some time, I'll find someone to love me someone to love me too