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I Wrote My Living Will in...Song


liv·ing will

/ˈliviNG ˈˌwil/

noun

noun: living will; plural noun: living wills

  1. a written statement detailing a person's desires regarding their medical treatment in circumstances in which they are no longer able to express informed consent, especially an advance directive

UNPLUG ME

I hope to live to 103

Die in my sleep peacefully

But if I get some fatal rare disease

Unplug me.

If I walk out the door, get hit by a bus

Please tell the doctors to not make a fuss

If my diagnoses is a total bust

Unplug me

Drip drip drip goes the morphine

Blip blip blip goes my heart beat

Don’t bring me down

Don’t bring me around

Unplug me

I hope I Live to a hundred and four

have a heart attack on the dancefloor

If there’s not a chance, set me free

Unplug me

I can’t afford the lawyer. Em g c a

Can’t the bill

Instead I’ll write in a song. My name is Jill Sobule.

This is my living will. Is my living will

Unplug me, but before you do

Make sure it’s not just a bad cold or flu

I know it’s not fun, but I’m counting on you

Unplug me

Drip drip drip goes the morphine

Blip blip blip goes my heart beat

Don’t bring me down

Don’t bring me around

Unplug me

The other day, I took a puff from one of my friend’s “medical” vapor pens.

I am not a smoker, nor am I a professional pothead like my friend. I guess I took too big of an inhale or held the lighted-blue button too long, but right after, I started coughing violently and my throat and chest were on fire. Then, I couldn’t breathe! I thought I was seriously going to die. It lasted for about two minutes. All I could think about was if I was ever waterboarded, for whatever reason, I would give away State secrets in a heartbeat. I later found out, through Google and a nurse friend, that I probably had a severe allergic reaction to some added chemical in the pen that caused my bronchial tubes to temporarily close.

What if I had died? From a vapor pen. How embarrassing for my obit. But, I also thought how vulnerable I’d be, if say, I went into a coma and had to be in some hospital in Pittsburgh for like months, and I couldn’t even enjoy the break. What if my diagnosis was grim? What if some relative had found Jesus and decided that I needed to be kept alive forever?

Coincidentally, a couple of months before the vape experience, I thought about going to a lawyer to draft a living will for me. The lawyer, who came highly recommended, said his starting fee was $1500! That in of itself could cause a cardiac arrest.

Light bulb over my head:

Well, what if I wrote my living will in...song? I could write it, record it, then publish it!

So here is a live version I did last month from The City Winery.

Lastly, I thought, “Why not get in the living will business? I could, let’s say for now, take out my name and replace it with yours! I’d be way cheaper than that lawyer.

Let me know, and enjoy a long healthy unplugged life.

#livingwill #citywinery

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