Julia Sweeney and me!

  Jul 09, 2010 (Fri) Brownfield Maine *** Stone Mt. Arts Center (J&J)
  Jul 10, 2010 (Sat) Northampton MA *** Iron Horse Music Hall (J&J)
  Jul 11, 2010 (Sun) Sellersville PA *** Sellersville Theater 1894
  Jul 14, 2010 (Wed) New York NY *** City Winery
  Jul 15, 2010 (Thu) Fairfiled CT *** Fairfield Theatre-State One ***

How do you get to Carnegie Hall? You volunteer to be a judge for the Scholastic Art and Writing Awards. I'm not quite sure why they asked me; I just write three minute songs. However, I was honored to be included. What I didn't realize was how much reading was required. One week after I accepted, I was sent this ginormous box full of short stories from 7th to 12 graders -about 10 days worth of reading. What was even more overwhelming was how good, deep, and pretty dark the stories were. Shoot, when I was in 7th grade, I was writing drivel. My first song: " Clouds, they Come and Go, Come and Go, Come and Go". Anyway, Scholastic also asked if I would come up with a song to perform at the awards ceremony, which would take place at...Carnegie Friggin' Hall! The same stage where Gershwin, Rachmaninoff, Stravinsky, and Spinal Tap once stood! 

I have to admit that I was a little freaked out. Not just to play the revered hall, but to play in front of the smartest, most talented kids in the entire country. What song would I sing? What lyric would not get their eyes rolling? 

After thinking real hard, as well as being somewhat of a semi-slacker, I thought I would rework one of my crowd favorites, "Underdog Victorious". Rather than a budding rock star, I would make Bobby Trucks, the protagonist, a writer. Instead of shredding his guitar like a super hero, he would be equipped with a leather Moleskin and a feather plume.

On the big night, I was feeling pretty confident. Plus, I had a half an emergency Xanax in case I panicked. That's until they asked me to talk a bit before the song. Yikes! What do you say to really really bright kids who probably can see what a big impostor I am (I have issues that pop up ever now and then). I had no time to prepare anything, so I just winged it and...told the truth.

I said..."You scare me". I said that I was intimidated to sing my song in front of "the most talented and bad-ass kids around". And what do you know? That did it! They were now on my side. Using the word "bad-ass" sealed the deal. No matter how mature and brilliant a kid is, they still appreciate a bit of cussing. I even got them to sing the end chorus with me!

It was only after completing song that I could then truly take in the amazement of the evening. These kids were incredible. These were the future Capotes, Warhols, and Avedons (all past award recipients). 

As Whitney once sang (not an award winner), " I believe the children are our future".

My good friend and fab song-writer pal, Bill Demain, lost years worth of journals, records, books, etc. in the Nashville flood last week. I can't imagine. Well, I sort of can. Ironically, Bill helped me write a song about losing some of my own childhood memorabilia to a flooded basement years ago. The song is called Sonny Liston. Sonny (the champ who knocked out Floyd Patterson but lost to Ali) lived in Denver for a few years and took his dog to my dad (the veterinarian). We had a signed color photo of him that hung over the tiki bar in the basement. For some reason, I loved that photo. That, along with my beloved David Bowie poster, were among the lost.

I give Bill my love and sympathy. I wish for him to fill up a hundred journal books full of wondrous songs and stories. 

Here's the song, if you care to listen: Sonny Liston. It's from my Folk Years 2003-2003 album

I'm just back in LA, and now figuring out what chores and projects I need to tackle first. If I had money, the first thing I would get is a personal assistant or clone. I'm not sure whether to work on the musical first, new personal songs, a song that I have to write for the Scholastic awards in June, or go to Trader Joe's. How does one get an intern or personal assistant?

I am a terrible daughter. I did not send my mom a gift in time. I have written a song of appreciation -well, from a years ago. Here it is: Mom

But nobody can tell you the 7 virtues
Nobody praises the grade school teacher, but Everybody has a favorite serial killer.
And everybody watched the celebrity trial in detail
But nobody can tell who sits on the Supreme Court
And everybody wants better schools for their children, but nobody wants to pay their taxes.
Everybody wants to be loved and famous but they’ll drop kick your ass to be loved and famous.
Nobody wants the fat pregnant woman
But everybody loves the pumped up action hero

 Mom, I take you for granted, like some old forgotten habit. And, I know that you gave me life and helped me pay some bills.
Mom, I take you for granted, I was never abandoned.
Even though sometimes you really piss me off, I hope you live forever.
Mom

Oh, and here is someone's phone video of Nelly's "Hot in Herre" with my mom at Joe's Pub. 

Just to let you know, we probably talk about two or three times a day -ridiculous. I say, "I used to spend my childhood trying to get needed attention and approval from my mom. Now, I can't get rid of it".

Happy Mom's day to all of you moms.